TRANS RESILIENCE AND FAMILY REBUILDING: MARSHMALLOW’S SONG AND THE HOPEFUL HOLIDAY REMINDER QUEER PEOPLE NEED
PHOTOS COURTESY OF FOX NETWORK’S BOB’S BURGERS ★ FEATURING JARI JONES ★ WORDS BY ANDYOMO
In Bob’s Burgers Season 15, Episode 6, 'Hope N’ Mic Night,' Marshmallow—a 23-year-old Black trans sex worker and fan favorite since the very first season—emerges not just as the hero of the night, but as a symbol of the journey towards rebuilding and reconciling with the complexities of family, both past and present.
Voiced by Jari Jones for the first time since the character's introduction, Marshmallow takes the stage to perform a song dedicated to her parents—the first and ONLY time they’ve ever heard her sing. This moment, full of vulnerability and pride, is more than a heartwarming plot point in a TV show. It mirrors a journey that many trans and queer people, especially within the POC and Black communities, including myself, have navigated: the often difficult, messy, and ongoing process of rebuilding relationships with our families, especially with parents who may struggle to understand who we truly are.
For many trans people, the most meaningful moments of family connection come in the smallest ways—like hearing your parents use your preferred pronouns or chosen name without hesitation, or knowing they are making an effort to learn about your life, even when it’s new and uncomfortable for them. It’s the simple act of speaking about you with respect when you’re not in the room. These are the moments that make us feel seen, that reassure us our families are trying—even if that journey takes time.
For many queer and trans individuals, the dream of reconnecting with family feels like an uphill battle—an ongoing desire for acceptance that often seems out of reach. Watching Marshmallow sing for her parents reminds me of my relationship with my own. Particularly with my mother, our bond has been tested over time by difficult conversations and moments of misunderstanding. The gap between who I am and who she expected me to be has often felt insurmountable. But even through these difficulties, I’ve learned that healing is possible. There have been moments of connection, small yet meaningful, where we’ve shared understanding or glimpsed each other’s worlds. These moments remind me that, despite the challenges, love can still grow and find its place. Marshmallow singing to her parents gives me hope that, despite years of distance or misunderstanding, growth and reconciliation are possible. It’s not about perfection; it’s about making space and showing up for each other, even when it’s hard.
Over the past two years, I’ve been walking a similar journey of reconciliation with my father. His entering therapy has allowed us to have real, raw conversations that were long overdue. It hasn’t been easy—those talks were often awkward, uncomfortable, and painful at first—but over time, my father has shown a willingness to listen and learn. Therapy has helped him move beyond surface-level exchanges and into deeper, more meaningful spaces where true connection happens. Our conversations aren’t flawless, but they are real—distinguished from those familial relationships that can sometimes feel distant or superficial. He’s learning how to affirm me—not just by using my pronouns, but by showing curiosity about the nuances that shape my life and existence. That’s been key for me: the small, everyday ways parents can show up for their queer or trans children. It’s not always about grand gestures, but acts of patience, vulnerability, and, most importantly, moments of mutual respect and genuine interest. It’s given me hope for what’s possible with both of my parents as we continue to put in the work to understand one another better.
Watching Marshmallow on Bob’s Burgers sing to her parents—especially when they’ve never heard her perform before—felt deeply personal to me. It’s a moment I could easily see reflected in my own life. But more than that, it’s a reminder that family can come to understand us. It doesn’t happen overnight, and it’s not easy, but the effort is what matters. My father’s journey to understanding my queer and trans identity has been far from perfect, but I see him trying. And that effort, those small steps—like him asking about my personal life or using my pronouns without needing reminders—are the moments where I know he’s making space for me. It’s not about perfection but instead in the subtle, intentional acts of love and validation.
This is what makes the episode groundbreaking: it’s not just about one character’s emotional arc—it’s about the larger trans experience, the push for family rebuilding, and the recognition that trans people deserve acceptance, love, and space to be themselves. Marshmallow’s bravery on that stage serves as a powerful metaphor for what many of us experience in our own lives. It’s the courage to be ourselves fully, unapologetically, and to seek out love where it may have once seemed impossible.
Marshmallow’s character, now voiced by Jari Jones, hits me in a way that goes beyond the humor and wild antics we love her for. Jari brings a depth to Marshmallow that feels personal—especially when it comes to the tough journey of navigating the world as a queer individual. As a Black and Filipino trans activist, model, and fashion trailblazer, Jari’s own lived experience adds layers of authenticity and rawness to the role, giving Marshmallow a vulnerability that mirrors the challenges many of us face when trying to rebuild those connections with our families. Jari has spent years breaking barriers, from being the first plus-sized Black trans woman to walk New York Fashion Week in 2019 to becoming the first Black trans woman to appear on a Calvin Klein billboard in 2020. Her activism and passion for body positivity and trans visibility infuse her portrayal of Marshmallow, making this moment where Marshmallow sings to her parents not just about the performance—it’s about the courage it takes to ask for love and understanding from people who may still be learning how to give it. Jari’s Marshmallow isn’t just a character—she’s a reminder that transformation, both personal and familial, is always possible, even when it seems like an uphill battle.
JARI JONES CELEBRATING HER HISTORY-MAKING BILLBOARD RELEASE 2020
