JOEL HILARIO X A WORLDWIDE MAGAZINE

VOLUME 5, ISSUE 5. AUTUMN 2024

TALENT JOEL HILARIO ★ PHOTOGRAPHER LOUIE PEREA ★ WARDROBE STYLIST J. ALEXANDER CARTEGENA ★ VIDEOGRAPHER SEAN PERRY FILMS ★ DP SAINT JAMES ★ STYLING ASSISTANT JOHNNY GUTIERREZ ★ ASSISTANTS RICHELLE KOTA + LENIN BETANCUR ★ CASTING INVITE ONLY PRODUCTION

INTERVIEW BY RICHELLE KOTA

Step into the vibrant world of Joel Hilario (He/Him) with our exclusive interview in Worldwide Magazine. Joel's stories take us on a vivid journey from the bustling streets of New York to the sunny beaches of the Dominican Republic and back. He highlights the importance of collaboration, community, and representation in fashion, offering ideas on cultivating more inclusive spaces. From his powerful poem "Maricón" to his relentless advocacy for social justice, Joel offers fresh and inspiring perspectives on the beautiful blend of art and activism. For fashion enthusiasts and those who cherish powerful stories, this is a must-read. This exclusive interview is a vibrant celebration of cultural pride, resilience, and artistic brilliance!

RICHELLE: I'm so glad to be here today with you. Before we officially begin, please tell readers who you are, what you do, and where you're from.

JOEL: My name is Joel Hilario. I'm a content creator based in New York City. I was born in Washington Heights. I'm a first-generation Dominican American, my parents migrated here from the Dominican Republic in the 90s. Besides content creation, I have a degree in psychology and currently work for the health department in New York City, helping children with developmental delays. I'm someone who loves fashion as a medium of expression inspiring queer community to wear whatever they want, feel empowered, and occupy space. I identify as Latino, Dominican, and gay.

Lovely. All right let's get into the first question. Joel, what is one piece of advice that you want to give to creatives worldwide?

It's very simple, just create from an authentic place within your heart. Don't focus too much on trends because they come and go, but authenticity stays. So, just create from a place that represents you and that makes you proud. That's my advice.

Thank you for sharing. Let's talk about the importance of being creative right now. In real- time, we're witnessing artificial intelligence (AI) attempt to replace creative expertise. How do you see human-made creativity playing a crucial role in shaping our future?

At the end of the day, I feel Al could get very intelligent, but it can never copy our emotions. When it comes to creating content, as long as you are tapping into those different emotions and you're conveying a message-- it could be humor, it could be what's happening in the world, it could be about style. If you say it with emotions...I don't think Al will be able to replicate that ever. The connections that we humans have with each other are the main thing that keeps us going in life...our community. Al is going to be a good resource to use, but I don't see it replacing our community.

I love how you said it's a great resource, but it can't replace human-made art. I think that's so important.

Exactly.

Speaking about it as a resource, how is your creative process? How do you take your ideas from your mind and bring them into reality? What is that process like?

To be honest with you, maybe I'm not using Al as much as I should. But when I have an idea in my mind, I just literally break it down to a template of where I want it to be shot, the kinds of angles. I also go on Pinterest and bookmark ideas for concepts. Most of the time when I'm working with brands, they have a brief of what they're looking for. As a collaborator, I see that and wonder how I can add my twist to it. That's where my personality, my fashion comes in and I just make it my own. My creative process...is simple, creating an outline of what I want to...If it's photos, I just walk outside and I shoot pretty much anywhere. I've been doing it for so long that it comes very naturally. I have an eye that has developed with time. I know what works for me and looks good on camera.

Without saying it, you're talking about leveraging intuition within your creative practice. If you practice and refine a gift, you will be able to have a more authentic passion than someone who didn't refine their talents.

Exactly. My content reflects what I'm going through in my life. As I change and evolve, so does my content. My followers tell me, "Like, oh my God, I love your growth...your evolution." It's beautiful that something I'm experiencing can inspire others. That's how I see Instagram: It's more an exchange of ideas where we can lift each other.

I try to keep a good, healthy relationship with it where I'm not comparing myself to other people, especially in this world of content creation. There's room for everyone and it's important to check your ego. If you let your ego overtake you, then it's not fun anymore. For me, creating content still feels fun. Even though I've been doing it for almost five years now, I still feel there are so many things that I still haven't done with my content. So, I'm excited to tap into those things.

Thank you so much for sharing that. You touched on so many things that we're going to follow up on. I'm so excited to delve deeper! With 72.4 thousand followers, your art resonates with many. Can you please share what inspires and influences your work?

What influences my work is mainly little Joel, just making that little queer brown kid proud. Now that I'm an adult-- I'm 31, I have a really good sense of who I am. With that comes freedom... From wearing a skirt with jeans or wearing a woman's top. These are things the old me would never have the courage to do but tapping into that has expanded me beyond my limitations and just understanding that I shouldn't be afraid of my femininity because we all have feminine and masculine energies within ourselves. That's where I get my inspiration from, just seeing that kid and making his dreams a reality and making him proud because the life that I have now is not a life that I even imagined for myself. So just created from that vulnerable place, but in that vulnerability, I found my strength.

I can see the intention in the way you're talking about it. That leads me to ask, what impression do you hope to leave on people who engage with your work? How do you want them to feel?

I want them to feel seen. within our community, a lot of times we don't have access to these places because, as brown people, or people of color, many times we don't get an invitation to the room. And everything is not rainbows and flowers. When I walk into these places, sometimes I feel like self- sabotaging, but I want my community to see through my work that this is something they can achieve, too. They can also get there. It's hard out here for us, but we're determined.

You do deserve to be in those rooms. And I did see some of those pictures. I loved looking through your Instagram feed because it's so seamless. You already touched on this, but social media's impact. How does it affect your mental health, creativity, and work?

To be honest with you, it does affect my mental health to an extent, but I try not to let it last too long. As someone who does multiple things besides content creation... I love helping my community in different ways. I mentioned earlier that I work with children with disabilities and their families to provide them with much-needed resources. I'm a landlord who tries to offer fair rent to minority renters because I know rent is crazy. When it comes to social media, I appreciate the opportunity that it brings me. At the same time, I know that I am more than that. My worth is not linked to how many views I get and that's just something that I had to work through on my own, with time. I try to keep a balanced life of living out in the real world and having the content as a companion. It's not the content ruling my life. The content reflects what I'm living. I try to work with myself and find balance.

It seems that balance allows you to not focus your full attention on what other people are thinking because you have people in your real realm who are grounding you.

Exactly. The goal is to just continue trying to keep that balance. It's an everyday battle, but the joy is in the climb itself.

I think you're doing a great job! It sounds fulfilling. When I looked at your work, I had no idea you live such a rich life offline! Thank you for sharing about your work within your community. Let's pivot a bit... Life has a funny way of shifting our lens. Is there one experience that has profoundly challenged your perspective on the world and yourself?

This could be controversial, but what's happening right now with Gaza... What happened three days ago moved me. As a content creator, I must be honest, I haven't been as vocal about what is happening on social media. I am in full support of free Palestine and that's what I advocate for within my circle of friends. But social media is a little bit more difficult because a lot of these brands and major corporations are owned by people with vested interests. I try to share more resources on my stories and advocate the best way I can. At the same time, I'm educating myself on what's happening. We all have multiple purposes and hopefully, I'm fulfilling mine.

And it is also sometimes encouraging to know some people don't have as much time or as much space to do the things we do. It almost fortifies us to work even harder to show, that perhaps, our ancestors or people in another place didn't get the same opportunities. They can empower us to work harder in their memory. OK! You do your research! I want to know; who was the first person you can remember to support your creative endeavors? And I want to know who supports them now.

My number one fan is my mom. My mom is... My ride or die, I get emotional because I came out when I was 17 years old, but she always knew I was different. When I was little, I used to draw little dresses and she would proudly show them to her girlfriends. She wasn't the most educated and family members would judge her. When I came out, they thought she was just going to reject me because of her lack of education and close-mindedness. But she proved them all wrong because she still gave me that unconditional love that I needed at that moment. And now she's my best friend. We travel together. She's getting to see me as a person versus just a son. And I'm getting to see her growth as a person as well. Sometimes we forget that our parents are people. I'm seeing her falling more in love with herself. And I love that.

That is so sweet. You talked about drawing dresses and I want to talk about your relationship with fashion. Your style is captivatingly unique. How does fashion help you experience gender euphoria—that beautiful feeling where you feel intoxicated by expressing yourself through your outfits?

I mean, it's just such a beautiful journey because I remember when I would restrict myself from wearing something too feminine because I wanted to be straight-passing or whatever. And now that I tap into it, I cannot go back. I love wearing my bags. I love wearing my little heels and just walking down the street in my little strut. I feel complete. I feel holy. When I'm walking down the street, yeah, I get looks, but I get so many compliments. Those people resonate with me and are on the same kind of frequency and those are the kind of people that I'm allowing to come into my realm. All those people that give me weird looks, I just keep it moving. Because I know I'm that girl.

Yes, I am surprised that even in New York [City], you’re still getting looks!

Tell me if I'm wrong, but when I first saw your fashion, I could very easily the influences of femininity, the Dominican Republic- with the sheer and tight shirts, and kind of extraterrestrial inspiration with the sunglasses.

OK, you do your research!

Ha Ha Ha! I'm curious! Is that true? Do you feel those are inspirations? Your Dominican-ness, queerness, alien-ness, all together?

It's the vision. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of what other people are going to think. Tap into something that makes you uncomfortable and feel alive. A lot of us are numb and fashion is such a beautiful way to express yourself and where you're at in life. Yes, I'm a fashion content creator, but I do not go to many fashion shows or go looking for trends. Everything comes from within, and it projects out. You just told me, that when you see me, you see my Dominican, you see my queerness, you see my alienation. The most beautiful place you could create is from within yourself. I feel like we are at brunch!

I know we're hanging out. I love it. I want to ask about your poetry book, Beneath My Skin. It's a powerful reflection of the violence you've experienced in your life. How did you know it was the right time to share it with the world?

It was something that helped me heal. I knew it was the right time because if not now, then when? I held onto this book for five years. What gave me the courage was realizing that the person who needed it the most was me. I was ready to let go of this part of me so that I could move on to what's next. It was just such a scary thing to do, but I'm celebrating it one day at a time. The next step is to do more open mics and just talk more about my story.

I love hearing how your writing seems to relate to your fashion because you're using vulnerability to heal. You have a poem in Beneath My Skin about this called Maricón. It's the only Spanish word in the book's preview. How does being a Spanish speaker impact how you write?

The book is 90% in English. But there was no question that I wanted maricón to be the first poem. Maricón is such a strong word that carries so much Yes. I am surprised that even in New York, you're trauma and weight in the gay Latin community because of machismo.

I remember being a kid and hearing that word, fearing Regarding the book, I turned my insecurities into it. I wanted to open with this word because it's caused healing. I used both languages to tell my story me the most trauma in my life. My father is someone who inflicted a lot of pain on my childhood. Here is this man who brought me into the world —who is supposed to teach me love and to love others, and here he is calling me a maricón and wanting me to change who I am. Writing that piece allowed me to own it. Yeah, I'm a maricón, period. Words have meaning, but it's also the meaning you gi e them. I can change the meaning of maricon from something degrading to something empowering.

You’re reclaiming the term, right? Even on Drag Race Spain, the host and queens call each other “Marichoco” (tom-boyish or butch) affectionately. It’s interesting because its rooted in something we’ve all experienced in the queer community. We all know what its like to be called degrading names.

Exactly.

How does Spanish impact how your write? Do you prefer Spanish or English?

Listen, girl. Another reason I struggled to put this book out is because language has always been a struggle for me. I was born in New York, but my mom sent me to the Dominican Republic when I was five and I lived there until I was eleven years old. When I came back, I didn't speak any English. The Twin Towers had just fallen, I was struggling with English, and I was dealing with my own identities, and the violence around me. With time, I learned determination from my mom. She only made it to fourth grade [herself], but she’s always been a hustler. I wanted to be like her, but the 3.5 version. Despite language barriers, I persevered. My mom got me a tutor, and I started learning English. I was in my high school's National Honor Society but writing continued to be tough because of the socio-economic barriers within public education [in America]. At Ithaca College, I was often the only Latino or person of color in class, I felt insecure. But I didn’t quit. I started going to the writing center, and my writing shone when I incorporated personal experiences. For research papers, I’d write about coming out or [my] bilingual education [experiences]- things I lived through. Now I’ve elevated my Spanish by having intellectual conversations. Growing up conversations were about daily life, not mental health or deeper topics. Now, I feel confident and can say I'm fully bilingual. Regarding the book, I turned my insecurities into healing. I used both languages to tell my story because it’s my truth, I'm not claiming to be the best writer; I’m doing this for my [own] journey and healing. Hopefully, it inspires others to take risks and create art from their [own] pain.

It’s beautiful. And I thank you so much for being vulnerable with me. Please recommend a poem from your collection that everyone should read.

Read Poetry to My Mother. That’s probably my favorite piece there. The poem ends with the words; we didn't have therapy, but at least we have poetry. The poem is mainly just me talking to my mother as a kid because we used to have these kitchen conversations where I would sit with her and kind of be her therapist. Mind you, I was 11 or 12 years old, just trying to help her find her self worth so that she could leave my father. In the present time [we] still have these conversations, looking back at the trauma that we endured, and just celebrating that we found a way out.

Now when people compliment the happiness and light I carry, they don't know the many years of misery and darkness when I didn't know if my mother was going to live. I didn't even know if I was going to be loved after coming out of the closet. Now that I’m here, yes, we're going to celebrate and it’s going to be glitter all over the floor and we’re going to wear little heels. We’re going to wear our skirts. We’re going to just be fabulous because this is what I dreamed. And now I’m just going to continue to try and live the best life I can. Because, yeah, living that life that we had was very sad, but It made us into who we are today. And I love who I am today.

It’s amazing. And so many people love you, Joel. It’s true.

Yeah, I feel the love.

I love this interview and Im just so grateful to you.

It’s humbling to get this kind of opportunity to connect with this brief interaction. We never met before, hopefully we walk away feeling not only love for one another, but for ourselves. It’s a hard world out there. There are wars everywhere, but there are also wars within us. The key is to have compassion for ourselves, even when we feel that we’re not doing enough. 

This is going to carry into my day. Simply, I'm honored to be the first person that gets to read and see this interview. We’ve talked about recent projects but what is next in your creative journey? 

What's next? Honestly, I want to collaborate more with queer designers to evolve my style and continue to occupy space. It’s so crazy. Sometimes I step out and look at myself in the mirror and I'm finally seeing what I dreamed. I'm grateful that I didn't give up and kept walking down my path. Hopefully, other people come along and feel inspired. And that's why I want to collaborate more. When you collaborate, it's like a dance of different energies. And once you find that rhythm, it goes places that you never even imagined. It's as simple as this interview. You could have easily just read a couple of basic questions, but we are doing that inner dance where you resonate with what I say and truly listen. Youtube even made a couple of observations that I never thought about before. The whole alien got me because I never thought to use alien to describe my style, but it makes sense. You're right, period. 

That's what I saw. 

That's what I felt. I'm entering a new era and I'm excited to just get this bag. You know what I'm saying I want to focus on planting seeds. 

Joel, I believe in you doing whatever projects you want to do. I don't know you, but I can feel and understand your passion and excitement to reinvent yourself.

Gracias! You see? That's the thing. You don't need to know me because at the end of the day...life is hard. You can meet someone for 30 minutes and that person could leave a lasting impression on you. The key is to show up... I'm in my 'yes' era.

You're saying yes to what scares you. Growth can only come with fear. And success can only come with failure.

It's just crazy how when you leap, things just fall into Muchísimas gracias. place. By chance, an upcoming project came together seamlessly, almost out of nowhere. Life...I guess that's how it works. This could be a podcast haha.

It could! Blessings always come in abundance, Joel. You'll be stagnant because you'll be doing your work and growing your roots

Suddenly, six things will pop up at once. And that's the test. It's to make sure you are getting ready. You were ready. You ate that.

We're going to stay eating! We're going to feed the kids.

This is our final question! How can we create more space for representation, inclusivity, and diversity for POC in fashion, both online and worldwide?

Honestly, consistency is key. If you're a creator, just keep creating. Social media can be very powerful. It's more than just deciding how to dress, it's how people see the world. You never know who's looking at your profile, so continue to create and occupy space. From a brand perspective, it's about hiring a diverse group of people. For example, I worked with someone who was the only person of color on her team. They were holding an event that included only two people of color out of 20 creators. She flagged it and insisted on more diversity. It's not only about consistently creating but using your role with purpose. Diversity is very important because white privilege is like a fish swimming in water. If you ask a fish what water is? it wouldn't understand because it's just swimming in it. It takes conscious white people to know they have white privilege and use it for good. Others might say, "I pulled myself up by my bootstraps; you can too." But they're benefiting from this whole system.

I'm hearing your spirit of collaboration even in how you talk about representation, inclusivity, and diversity. You want to collaborate with those who uplift us, meeting in the middle, connecting and opening that space.

I love that analogy. Oh, you're eating that up. You set the tone for my day. People just want to feel seen and seeing each other through a screen is beautiful and unexpected. You've lifted my spirit.

In such a short time, I've been inspired by your story, and my words have resonated with you.

That's what life is all about, and it's something Al cannot duplicate. I know it couldn't ever create this interview.

Wow, you're right! Al could never replicate this interview. That's so beautiful. I'm excited. Joel, thank you so much for letting me into your life this morning.